Have you ever been on Facebook groups and read others’ successes, 6-figure income, the seemingly overnight success story and immediately feel a pain in your chest? You’re ashamed that you’re jealous of others’ success but you don’t know how to get over it. You want to immediately scroll past that post (+ eye rolls) so you never see it again but you can’t stop reading because you want to know their secret. What is it that they know that you don’t?
We are raised with the belief that if your friend wins, you lose. If your co-worker gets the promotion, it means you’re not. If someone gets a raise, there’s less in the pot for you. We are surrounded with beliefs that there’s a limit to anything that is good.
For some reason, as hard as we try to be happy for others’ success, the immediate thought is – Why can’t it be me? Why aren’t I as successful? You have something special in you, but you’re disappointed that you’re not doing anything with it. What you have is unrealized potential. You beat yourself up or protect yourself by telling yourself that they must have an unfair advantage.
Now, how do we reframe this so that instead of this becoming a weakness, it becomes a strength for you?
Sand castle analogy…
Let’s try an analogy. Imagine success like building a sand castle. There’s no limit to how small or big you want your sand castle to be. However, if other people are building huge sand castles, does that mean you won’t be able to find more sand to build your sandcastle? No, because the more you dig, the more sand you’ll find and there’s just so much to go around.
Demystify their success
It doesn’t matter what you see others do, everybody is winging it in some form of another. The next time you see someone’s success, ask yourself a few questions:
- What do you think she had to do to get to where she is?
- Is it possible that she had previously tried and failed?
- Is it true that her success is overnight?
- Is it possible that she had to do many things that were out of her comfort zone?
Questions like these demystify her success and remind you that everyone is figuring it out and trying different things over and over. The things we see online are highlight reel of other people’s lives. We don’t see the sweat and tears that go into building a successful business.
Channel that into inspiration
Use this as an inspiration. If other people can be successful, why not you? Is it true that the only reason why they are successful is because they have more [talent, money, friends etc]? If you believe in yourself and take consistent actions toward your dreams, can you be more successful than you are right now?
What’s possible for you
When you come across others’ incredible success, remember, the Universe is showing you what’s possible, for you! The next time you come across success posts, celebrate! Show your gratitude that yes, more and more women are achieving greater success and your success is on the way!
Do you have a different view now when thinking of others’ success? What resonate with you the most?